William Safire Retires

The last writer in recent memory to be threatened with a presidential ass-kicking will hang up his pen on January 24 of next year.

Safire is currently the house conservative for the New York Times op-ed page, a position as lonely as a George Lazenby fan at a James bond convention.

New York Times publisher Arthur Sultzberger says that the Times without Safire is "all but unimaginable".

All but unreadable is more like it.