12/29/2004

Banned Bands

The Young Middle Magnet School of Mathematics, Science & Technology in Tampa has decided to stand firm against the presence of dangerous weapons on school grounds.

"There have been recent incidences of students at our school using rubber bands as a method of projecting objects at other people. The students refer to some of the projectile objects as "wasps.' Occasionally, students are using their fingers to project the wasps. These activities have resulted in injured students.

"Rubber bands are not permitted at school. If students are in possession of rubber bands for any reason they will be subject to consequences that may include out of school suspension. When rubber bands are required for classroom use, they will be provided and collected."
No doubt the guerilla terrorists of the eighth grade will soon discover that a hairband ("scrunchie") can be used to launch 'wasps' almost as well as a rubber band. The school will have to ban those, as well.

Those pencils and rulers can sure raise a welt, too. Won't someone think of the children?