Can I Get a Butter Knife Waiver?

In the wake of The Dunblane Massacre of 1997 where 16 children were killed by a gun-wielding maniac, Great Britain banned private handgun ownership. Now, the United Kingdom faces a new problem: the knife culture.

First Minister Jack McConnell has announced a five-point programme to clamp down on knife crime.

The maximum jail term for possessing an offensive weapon will be doubled from two years to four under the proposals.

He wants to ban the sale of swords and introduce a licensing scheme for retailers selling knives.
Will silverware sellers need to register with the government? Will Pier One be held liable for knife crimes committed with their simple-but-elegant Satin Finish Flatware?

Of course, banning guns doesn't stop gun crime. In 2003 in the U.K., a gun crime occurred 27 times a day - 9,974 incidents involving firearms in the 12 months to April 2002 - a rise from 7,362 over the previous year.

If someone wants to hurt another person and he can't find a gun, he'll use a knife. Now that knives are about to come under regulatory control in the U.K., he'll have to use something else. A cricket bat, perhaps. Just try to ban those...